Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Move it Dumb-%*&!

Yep that’s me. I’m that guy. I’m the guy driving 40 miles per hour in a 40 M.P.H. top speed zone. Have you ever tried this? Have you ever tried going the actual speed limit for any length of time? The answer is yes for most people, but the longer you do it, the more you realize how impatient Americans really are.

People ride your ass like a G.I. in Thailand when you go the speed limit…pissed as they mouth the words, “Move it you dumb-f*&K.

Why would I ever drive the speed limit you ask? Is it because I have two young boys in the car 75% of the time? No this is not the answer, but it should be. The reason I am driving Mrs. Daisy everyday is because of the American economic recession.

“Recession – the general slowdown in economic activity in a country over a sustained period of time, or a business cycle contraction. Production as measured by Gross Domestic Product (GDP), employment, investment spending, capacity utilization, household incomes and business profits all fall during recessions.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recession

You know what else falls during a recession? The city’s profits from sales taxes. To mitigate the monetary loss from decreased sales taxes the cities in the metro Denver area have tripled the number of speed traps.

The fuzz’s “Put the heat on” campaign has resulted in $500.00 of revenue to the city out of my F-ing checking account. 2 tickets in 2 months.

I have had 3 tickets since I began driving in 1991, nearly 18 years ago. I had 1 ticket from 16 yrs old until 30. Maybe I was just lucky. At the tender age of 34 I now have 3.

Again maybe I was lucky, but I think not. My take is that cops used to be happier. They used to get raises every year, they used to make gains on their property like everyone else, and they used to not have their sergeant on their asses 24/7 asking them why they haven’t written more tickets!

I have been pulled over for speeding during periods of economic prosperity. During those time-periods I was left off with a warning. Now comes my warning….If you speed, and you get pulled over, you are getting a ticket. If you are a woman you better have a hell of a lot more in your bag of tricks than a nice smile and some cleavage. They don’t care…they want your $$$.

P.S. It is tax day tomorrow, I sent another $500.00 to the government, after paying thousands of dollars already this year. Hopefully that will but some more radar guns. YIPPEE!!!!!


  1. the same is happening in Philly. They have doubled our parking authority force, doubled the rate at meters (and made it impossible to use anything but quarters), and even cops are writing parking tickets. i think we are about $500 in the hole over the past couple months too. used to be you could get away with having your bumper in a handicapped spot, or over a sidewalk ramp. now it costs you hundreds of dollars. and have you seen how we have to park here? it's murder! sometimes i'm parked a half mile away from my house!

  2. Tell me about it!

    I got 2 tickets about a month apart after not having one since 2001. My mom and sis who are blonde seem to talk i mean babble their way out of tickets but me (being brunette? THAT'S just unheard of. Maybe I should bleach my hair blonde OR wear a Marlyn Monroe wig.

    What do you think?

  3. I think I flipped you off this morning. You weren't in North Carolina for any reason were you?

  4. did the parking authority tow YOU away? hope all is well.

  5. Coldplay made me frown, mims made me smile. Music has such an alluring charm on me.
    It's truly the pits when a girl can't get away with a ticket by flashing them a *****. :)

  6. YO- when you gonna start bloggin again sucka!?

  7. just checking in to say it's been an awfully long time since you've posted.

    I hope you and yours are all happy and well!

  8. oohh Im a newbie to your blog :) but Im already loving every post :) happy new year to you :) !


    I agree! Cops used to be happier! But now...?

    Peas out. :P

  10. checking in AGAIN! Thoughts are with you and I always hate when people quit their blogs without warning because my imagination runs away.

  11. Sure it was a wonderful weekend!, I'm happy for you!, your outfit is georgeous!

  12. This article was written well. This is an interesting twist of history in many different ways. Although the point of aim, but not smooth Ideas clear, the meaning is not clear

  13. Hey there! This is my first visit to your blog!
    We are a collection of
    cheap phones for sale volunteers and starting

  14. Birds love rice love life-spring water that is needed, not Günstige android-Handys ohne Vertrag online kaufen love; hyacinth is that love for no reason, to deep to cut love