Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Move it Dumb-%*&!

Yep that’s me. I’m that guy. I’m the guy driving 40 miles per hour in a 40 M.P.H. top speed zone. Have you ever tried this? Have you ever tried going the actual speed limit for any length of time? The answer is yes for most people, but the longer you do it, the more you realize how impatient Americans really are.

People ride your ass like a G.I. in Thailand when you go the speed limit…pissed as they mouth the words, “Move it you dumb-f*&K.

Why would I ever drive the speed limit you ask? Is it because I have two young boys in the car 75% of the time? No this is not the answer, but it should be. The reason I am driving Mrs. Daisy everyday is because of the American economic recession.

“Recession – the general slowdown in economic activity in a country over a sustained period of time, or a business cycle contraction. Production as measured by Gross Domestic Product (GDP), employment, investment spending, capacity utilization, household incomes and business profits all fall during recessions.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recession

You know what else falls during a recession? The city’s profits from sales taxes. To mitigate the monetary loss from decreased sales taxes the cities in the metro Denver area have tripled the number of speed traps.

The fuzz’s “Put the heat on” campaign has resulted in $500.00 of revenue to the city out of my F-ing checking account. 2 tickets in 2 months.

I have had 3 tickets since I began driving in 1991, nearly 18 years ago. I had 1 ticket from 16 yrs old until 30. Maybe I was just lucky. At the tender age of 34 I now have 3.

Again maybe I was lucky, but I think not. My take is that cops used to be happier. They used to get raises every year, they used to make gains on their property like everyone else, and they used to not have their sergeant on their asses 24/7 asking them why they haven’t written more tickets!

I have been pulled over for speeding during periods of economic prosperity. During those time-periods I was left off with a warning. Now comes my warning….If you speed, and you get pulled over, you are getting a ticket. If you are a woman you better have a hell of a lot more in your bag of tricks than a nice smile and some cleavage. They don’t care…they want your $$$.

P.S. It is tax day tomorrow, I sent another $500.00 to the government, after paying thousands of dollars already this year. Hopefully that will but some more radar guns. YIPPEE!!!!!