Financial Shit-Storm!

Last night my beautiful bride and I met with our financial advisor. The previous sentence makes it sound as though we have our financial shit together, and we meet with an investment consultant on a periodic basis. This is so far from truth. This was our second meeting with “our” financial advisor to stop the bleeding, and get this f-ing mess under some sort of control, because we certainly can’t do it. I jest, of course, but we do need some guidance.

This meeting was much like Catholic confessional. Throwing down all you financial woes in all its wretchedness is quite embarrassing, yet liberating at the same time. Although I am not Catholic anymore, (That’s another blog topic all in itself), I do feel that confessing to another person about that which has been haunting you is worth its weight in gold. (Get it? I made a funny).

Anyhow, there it was, before me, on the table…all my financial mistakes, pointing their dirty fingers at me, laughing, pulling my pants down in public. Turns out terms like interest only and credit card debt are bad words in economic-land.

The news isn’t all bad, the little dancer friend I call my wife and I have made some good judgment in this fiscal whirlwind. We have 401k, IRAs, Pensions, 529s and other crap that makes you realize that the days of sloppy keg stands and $20.00 in your account till next Friday are long…long past. Financially that is just fine.

As I sat there with the guy in the tie, I realized just how grown-up I have suddenly become. I have become old enough to actually worry about the future. I now have people other than me, myself and I that count on the decisions I make with my paycheck.

Damn! I want to go out, buy a new motorcycle on a spur of the moment whim, and get a horrible deal on it, and not care like the past. My glorious fiscally irresponsible past. I want to go out and spend $200.00 a weekend on overpriced LoDo (Lower Downtown) Beer. I want to go to a desolate field with a couple of shotguns and throw clay pigeons in the air and then blast them to smithereens while we laugh and talk about the 200.00 bucks we’ll blow on nothing.

Oh well, at least my kids will have college money, I’ll find a different way to pay this house off early and leave working behind at 55. Sounds pretty good.

Anyone want to do a sloppy keg stand at my house later tonight? I’m buyin and the kids are at the in-laws?

Peace out & spend it like you got it. Be a real American!